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True Love – Part 1
by Adeyemi Adetosoye
True Love! We all dream of being in love with that significant other, at some point in our lives. Is it better to have loved once than not to have loved at all? If this is really the case, then how do we actually find true love? How can a man or a woman really get to the core of the whole relationship game? What are the rules of such a game?
More often than not, it is not uncommon to find that either one partner feels really strongly about the other, whilst the other just bides time because he or she is the only one “available” at the time.
The key to marriage and happily-ever-after, lies first and foremost, with finding the right person. A lot of folks believe that there may be just one unique individual for every person in the world. I however, beg to differ. Wherever one goes, there is always the possibility of meeting one or more persons who uniquely match our tastes – philosophically, culturally, materially, emotionally and of course, physically (those sure do come a dime a dozen).
Okay, let’s get down to brass tacks here. Why would one person be into another, whilst the other hardly misses a beat? There are a myriad of reasons, reasons which I will discuss in other articles. For now, we’d discuss the most fundamental one: Maybe he/she is not your “true love”.
This leads us to a definition of the same. What is true love? Simply put, true love is the epitome of all your needs and desires in the other person, to a large extent. To a large extent? I hear you ask. Surely, to a large extent, because you can NEVER meet another human being who perfectly epitomizes what you truly desire in a significant other. To a large extent, however, it is possible to find such a one, but only just so.
Let’s analyze the last bit of my discourse for instance. Twins born of the same womb would hardly always see eye to eye over the same issue. Husbands and wives, even after 50 years of marriage would still not see eye-to-eye on certain issues, yet they live together: happily, we hope. Hence, why wait for the perfect person?
Humans are basically emotional and whimsical creatures. We are not robots, cannot be programmed to do only the same things. The only way we discipline ourselves is via several years of repetition, till we perform almost by rote. Therefore, we can never be perfect. Not in everything. You can never get another man just the exact flavor, the exact shade, the exact build, the exact manner of laughter, the exact you name it. Even if heor she’s of pristine character, he may defer from his ways just because. Because what? Just because. BECAUSE WHAT? “CAUSE I FELT LIKE IT, OKAY?” Whimsical Creatures.
It could have been anything. The room temperature, the color of the sky, his boss may have spoken rudely to him, he got drenched in the rain, blah, blah, blah.
Okay, so don’t look for perfection. That’s the first general rule of finding true love. In further articles, I will expound further on Finding True Love.