Passover Laugh While Cleaning

Passover Laugh While Cleaning

 

Passover Laugh While Cleaning
Passover Laugh While Cleaning

Preparing for Passover involves a thorough house cleaning. While you are doing that, here are some jokes to ease the experience.

Passover, or Pesach as it is called in Hebrew, is the 8 day festival where the Jews celebrate their liberation from Egypt more than a thousand years ago. One of the most important features of this freedom festival is that the Jews cannot eat anything that is leavened. They eat unleavened bread.

They must also make sure that no bread crumbs exist in or around the house: the cupboards, the drawers, the kitchen, behind the bed, under the refrigerator and anywhere else where crumbs might have fallen through. To ensure that the house is clean of leavened food materials, the Jews have to clean the entire house from top to bottom as thoroughly as possible. And they do. During the week before Passover, house cleaning is what goes on in most Jewish houses. To answer this demand and to ease the tension, here is a joke on this subject called Impossible Timing, which highlights this cleaning tension.

Impossible Timing:
Samuel, an observant Jew, who was also a financial wizard, left Brooklyn to accept the position of Vice President in a famous broker firm in Utah, which is well known for being a Mormon state.

When they learned this, the company’s directorate applied tremendous pressure on the company’s president. “We are religious people here,” they said. “It can’t be that a Jew will handle all our money.”

The president tried to ward them off, but when he couldn’t manage it anymore, he called Samuel to his office and explained the situation to him. Samuel was offered the choice of either converting or leaving the attractive job which also had a six figure salary quote attached to it.

Samuel had no choice but to convert, and he went home and told his wife that from Sunday, they will start attending the Church services.

A few months went by and his wife kept troubling Samuel about the conversion. “This is too difficult for me. I miss the Sabbath: lighting candles and blessing the wine. I miss the holidays. Money is not everything, Samuel dear.”

And with each time that his wife complained, Samuel’s conscience increased until he could not take it anymore and he went to meet the company’s President.
“Look, I can’t go on like this,” Samuel said. “I am full of regret. Money is not everything. I can’t sleep and neither can my wife. This is too heavy a burden for me to carry. I was born a Jew and I want to die a Jew. And if you want me to quit, I will without making any trouble.”

The President looked at him in wonder, “Listen, Samuel, I had no idea that this was so difficult for you. I thought it was a trivial matter. But you don’t have to leave. Everything will be the same as before: you can stay here with us without converting.

Passover Laugh While Cleaning
Passover Laugh While Cleaning

Samuel returned home happy and grinning from ear to ear. He ran to his wife, who was watching Ricky Lake, “You won’t believe it! It’s a miracle. We are going back to being Jews, and I still retain my job.”

His wife looked at him with eyes that spat fire, and said,” Are you mad?”

Samuel was shocked. “But I thought that this is what you wanted!” He cut in. “All this while you have been crying and complaining. Don’t you wish to go back to becoming a Jew””

His wife looked at him with ever more fury, “Of course I want to. Of course I want to,” she said. “But now? Only a week before Passover?”

 

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Wishing for Spring Basket Idea

Wishing for Spring Basket Idea

 

Wishing for Spring Basket Idea
Wishing for Spring Basket Idea

fill a plastic sand bucket with:

  • a couple of packets of herb seeds,
  • a pair of garden gloves and
  • add some homebaked cookies in the shape of flowers.
  • Include some silk flowers.

 

 

 

 

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Title:
How to Plan the Perfect Spring Break Family Vacation

Choosing where to go on a family vacation can be difficult. Do you go someplace where you will have fun or a place for the kids? Here is an idea that will solve your problem.
From time to time everyone needs some time away from their life. It does not matter if you are 10 years old and in 5th grade or 35 years old and working a full time job, to maintain good mental health you have to take the occasional vacation.

Some time around the beginning of April most public and private schools have Spring Break from School which is a great time to plan a vacation.

Most vacations when you have children become about them, and you wind up at places like Disney land or some other child orientated vacation spot, but what about you?

Las Vegas used to be known as an adult getaway where what happens there stays there. This is no longer the case. Over the past 15 years, Las Vegas realized that more money can be made from a family orientated city rater then just from gambling.

Many casinos started adding attractions for children like go carts and other amusements, and many other activities aimed at giving a child a good time, but the casinos also opened up day care centers, so parents can get some time to enjoy themselves as well.

I know when I would go to Disney World with my kids after the 2nd or 3rd day I was looking forward to getting back to work.

For the last several years we have been going to Las Vegas for our family Vacations over spring break and the kids enjoy it. They get to go on roller coasters, swim, play video games, watch movie the list really goes on and on for all the things they can do, and I get to spend a few hours ever day with my wife in the spa getting a message, eating in nice restaurants and playing some <a href=”http://www.online-casinos-707.net/basic-blackjack.html”>Blackjack</a> in the casinos.

Since we started doing this I have seen my family grow closer. My wife noticed that I am in a better mood for the rest of the year after we get back from vacation. I am enjoying my job more and all in all life is just better.

Putting together a Los Vegas vacation is very simple to do. You can go to a travel agent, or do it yourself online. I have always preferred to go to a travel agent and just let them do it, but if you are trying to save money you can get some good deals online that a travel agent can’t or won’t offer you.

If you choose to do it yourself, it is easy to do. You can go to your computer and do a search for Las Vegas. You will see every casinos and hotel listed and you can go thru them one at a time and see what they offer for you and your family to do.

You will also see everything the city and surrounding areas have to offer, and there really are tons of fun things for everyone in Las Vegas.

I hope to see you and your family there.

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